So. He got high tonight. surprise surprise.
Currently, and I shit you not, he was trying to give me a massage while I was attempting to do some work. And I really do not know how this lead into it, but he starts popping out some zits on my back. Ok. Fine and dandy. I myself am a pimple popper so this part really doesn’t bother me, but what does it the fact that he stops right in the middle of it, whips out his dick, and starts rubbing it.
When I asked him what’s going on, he stops and says, “am I not allowed to rub my dick?”
I then followed up with, “why are you rubbing your dick?”
“because it got hard.”
Have I mentioned to you guys that literally the only time we seem to have sex is if he has taken a substance within 16 hours? Otherwise, sex either doesn’t last very long (1-2 min max), or he just can’t even get it up. This is a very sad sex life to lead by the way.
So, it is very irritating to me that the only time he seems to find me attractive is when he is high. This might be irrational, but that’s how I feel about it.
Currently, he is irritating the shit out of me. Literally, when he is high, I feel like every little thing he does irritates me. He fucking says anything and I am irritated by the sound of his voice because he sounds super slow and a whole octave lower and softer than he normally does.
I am just so damn sick of him getting high all of the time.
Our relationship is really struggling to stay afloat because of it. He keeps saying that he’ll change, but the sad thing is that I know he won’t. I just pray to God that he either dies or a miracle happens and he does get clean and sober.
I shall keep you all updated as anything else happens. Until the next blurb…