There is a huge outcry about addiction. But what resources are there to actually help someone stop? I am so frustrated with insurance and stupid rules. While this psychologist is great for counseling, he can’t prescribe anything to help with cravings, so we have to hop around and call literally 700 different psychiatrists who are always overbooked and not taking any new clients and who do not specialize in drug rehab and therefore have no clue about what they are doing, so they won’t take him either. When your PCP would love to help but his hands are tied in legal red tape because “he doesn’t have the authority to evaluate the need for anti-addiction medication”.

What it all boils down to is bullshit. Pharmaceutical companies are making a ton of profit from this epidemic and they don’t care how many people are hooked or who is hurt in the process of them making a couple of bucks. I would not be surprised if I found out that the pharmaceutical companies are the ones responsible for all of the legal red tape that it takes to treat a drug addict since they want someone to be addicted. They want someone “graduating” to a more potent (and therefore more expensive) drug.

I am literally convinced of it because the pills in the streets that people are selling, they are the same ones I give to my dying patients every day. There is not enough scripts written to account for the number of drugs out in the streets.

On some days, I feel bad for my husband. He is consumed by the need for drugs. His body aches and his mind is a constant record playing “give me drugs”. Imagine that. It would really suck to have something have so much power over you. I’ve seen him crying in bed late at night, simply because he can’t stop. The drug has that much control over him and that much power. He isn’t mentally strong enough to wage war with the constant need.

He’s asked me a few times if I wanted to try it. Experience what the “high” is like. I’ve said no every single time. I cannot bring myself to take anything more than a Tylenol or Midol every so often.

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”  Isn’t that how the saying goes? Well, that’s my reaction. I refuse to take basically everything because of him and his addiction. I never want to be caught in that cycle.


4 thoughts on “Frustrations

  1. Very well said!! There are no easy answers when it come to rehab and treatment. There is no path you must take…no right, no wrong decisions, just shades of grey. To make matters worse, if you don’t have private insurance even these options are limited. It makes it so difficult that when the addict finally reaches the point of wanting help…that moment you have been praying for finally presents itself…and you cannot act upon it and take action because the answers and resources just aren’t there. The only advice I can offer is to hang in there and keep trying to move forward. If it’s not the exact right path, it is the right direction.


    1. Thank you for your words of encouragement! I just wish there was something we could do to change these laws. But, in order to change them, pharmaceutical companies have to be willing to lose that revenue and not fight the legislation. So, for now, I don’t see a future where it will change.


  2. Your blog is very inspiring!!!! I am in a very similar situation (I’m even a nurse lol!) and so many of your posts I can relate to…
    I just recently began writing, and it truly helps. It’s hard to stay true to yourself when you are worrying about someone all of the time.
    I wish you both the best!! My spouse has been on a suboxone taper for a few years now and in recover for almost 8 years… it hasn’t been perfect and we both are a little afraid for the future, but we take it one day at a time. 🙂


    1. Thank you so much for your comment! It is really nice to see people reading my words and relating. It makes me feel like I am not crazy. Like I am not alone in this fight. You know?
      I am so glad to hear about your husband 😀 How is the suboxone working out for him?
      Anytime you wanna talk, my inbox is always open 😀


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