So, as yesterday was payday, of course, he gets something as a pick me up. As per usual, we had an agreement that he’d take a quarter, give me the rest for safekeeping. Can you all see where this is headed?
Anyways, we went out to date night last night and went to watch Wonder Women. (btw: 10 out of 10. Fantastic movie) Anyways, throughout the whole movie, he’s sitting beside me complaining that whatever he got wasn’t strong enough and he needs more and etc. I finally give up because I am so frustrated. I also wanted to actually watch the movie without him whispering into my ear every 5 seconds. So he goes and does a little more at the beginning of the movie and by the end of the movie, he’s taken the whole pill. Oh, and he somehow managed to find a cigarette and smoke it. So when he came back into the movie, he smells like a pile of ashes.
On our way home, we have the biggest argument in the car. He asks me why I am so mean to him and claims that I am mentally and verbally abusive towards him. He said, “I only have one problem that I can’t control, you know, you aren’t so perfect yourself.” Who the fuck says that? I never claimed to be perfect, but, by God, he is so frustrating. He is a master manipulator who knows exactly what to say to rile me up and make everything out to be like it’s my fault. That I drive him into doing drugs and like I am the reason he can’t complete rehab. I wonder if leaving him will fix the problem.
Well, we get home and he decides he wants to watch Shameless. (also an amazing TV show if anyone wants to get started on that. It’s on Netflix) I don’t know about you all but I am tired at 11 pm on a Friday night. He would not let me go to sleep. He kept trying to wake me up to watch the show with him. Finally, he gave up around 1 A.M. and I went to sleep. I think we went to bed around 5 A.M. So now he’s sleeping through the morning and I have a peaceful Saturday morning to myself. It’s so nice.
I just wonder how much longer of his shit I can take. Literally. I don’t want to go on living like this anymore where I am having mental breakdowns because of all of the added stress of living with a drug addict. I’m always worried about the bills and money for food. Like, you all can hardly imagine what it’s like.
As always, I will keep you updated.